---So, I became a Facebook junkie. What? Me addicted to something? Never I tell you! Heh. I will be leaving Facebook this week sometime, once I nail a few more people down and get their email addys.
To make a long and drawn out and dramatic story short, I had gotten in touch w/ an old HS friend that I had dated way back when, prolly around 20 years ago now, I was maybe 16 at best. Well, her hubby noticed that her and I talked a lot and he got all pissy, so I manned up and told this person that Ill walk away from Facebook then, no biggie. Thats what Im doing.
Its funny though. Her effin husband had the nerve to get on her back because we messaged each other maybe once or twice a day while when he has time off from work he talks to a bunch of girls on Facebook that his wife doesnt know.
Sounds like a double standard and hubby is a real bitch!!!
Anywhat, Ill be gone from FB within the next week. Just wanted to give OMI members that use it a heads up.---
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Alone and forsaken.
---OK, so as most of you brothers know by now, my Step Dad (Dennis) passed in Nov. of 07, about 3 weeks before Turkey Day. It was a pretty rough blow to me, rather hard to deal with and even up to today, I can still struggle with it, I think of him often and he should know, even though I fuck up in a lot of ways, that I miss him terribly.
Well time has gone on and Ive learned to deal w/ it in my own ways. Some are not so good and healthy. I was just talking about this to my therapist this AM. To make a super long and drawn out story short, my Mom has kinda, sorta showed a tiny bit of interest in the Youth Pastor at her church. Several people are aware of it. No one has made a move yet, nor am I saying one will be made at all. The youth pastor is a good man. Hes caring, funny and has a good heart.
I have pissed on my territory already and have put up walls. I agree w/ the fact that you cant put a time limit on how long someone should or shouldnt wait before getting back out there again after your spouse passes away. My Mom is an honorable woman. Shes attractive, smart and very caring.
I just have a very very hard time seeing her with anyone new. It makes me nervous, mad, upset and on edge. I cant expect for her to put her life on hold if she feels its time to "get back out there" or whatever, but it would be very hard for me. Den was here, as my Father during the real hard, shit years of my life with all the drugs, the lies and all that. I dont think I could take another order from a male in that position without laughing in his face.
My therapist and I talked about this this AM while in session and she understood my uneasiness.
My Mom and I are in a unique living situation because I am disabled and cant live on my own. My Mom has said that if they ever started to "date", that certain things would have to be addressed first in order to see where things are gonna go.
Ugh, shit. Ill keep you guys posted.---
Well time has gone on and Ive learned to deal w/ it in my own ways. Some are not so good and healthy. I was just talking about this to my therapist this AM. To make a super long and drawn out story short, my Mom has kinda, sorta showed a tiny bit of interest in the Youth Pastor at her church. Several people are aware of it. No one has made a move yet, nor am I saying one will be made at all. The youth pastor is a good man. Hes caring, funny and has a good heart.
I have pissed on my territory already and have put up walls. I agree w/ the fact that you cant put a time limit on how long someone should or shouldnt wait before getting back out there again after your spouse passes away. My Mom is an honorable woman. Shes attractive, smart and very caring.
I just have a very very hard time seeing her with anyone new. It makes me nervous, mad, upset and on edge. I cant expect for her to put her life on hold if she feels its time to "get back out there" or whatever, but it would be very hard for me. Den was here, as my Father during the real hard, shit years of my life with all the drugs, the lies and all that. I dont think I could take another order from a male in that position without laughing in his face.
My therapist and I talked about this this AM while in session and she understood my uneasiness.
My Mom and I are in a unique living situation because I am disabled and cant live on my own. My Mom has said that if they ever started to "date", that certain things would have to be addressed first in order to see where things are gonna go.
Ugh, shit. Ill keep you guys posted.---
Monday, March 23, 2009
Spring is here!!!
---So yeah, Spring is here and all that. Ive been helping the ex move more and more, its all coming together and looks great. Ava's bedroom is gonna be all done up in dinosaurs just like she wants.
A lot of the old timers from my old high school got together this weekend thanks to FB. The pictures were great to see and thanks to FB I am now in touch with most of them again.
So, whats everyones week looking like? PJB, youve been MIA for a while, whats the haps?---
A lot of the old timers from my old high school got together this weekend thanks to FB. The pictures were great to see and thanks to FB I am now in touch with most of them again.
So, whats everyones week looking like? PJB, youve been MIA for a while, whats the haps?---
Friday, March 20, 2009
Feelings, nothing more than feelings...
---Well, my brothers, I come before you as a very humble man. My ex closed on and started moving into her new home. We got a decent amount of the boxes there and the actual movers (for furniture) come next Wednesday.
I am very happy that my daughter will grow up in a great and cozy little bungalow. Im happy the ex got it too. But deep inside I hurt, because that could have been our first home as a family if I wouldnt have fucked things up so much.
Helping her move some boxes today was truly bittersweet.---
I am very happy that my daughter will grow up in a great and cozy little bungalow. Im happy the ex got it too. But deep inside I hurt, because that could have been our first home as a family if I wouldnt have fucked things up so much.
Helping her move some boxes today was truly bittersweet.---
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Vroom vroom...
---My ex Father in laws totally rebuilt '50 Ford. This car was a MONSTER. He sold it and bought a Henry J and had that rebuilt from the ground up. He passed on a little over a year ago. Now my ex has the honor of carrying the torch and owning the Henry J which she hopes to take to a few car shows this summer. He was a pretty cool guy and damn did he know his cars!!!---
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
dancing with the stars
---OK, I just talked to the ex a little while ago and she told me that a pair of the dancers danced to a song by The Clash.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD?
Can anything remain untouched?
Im sorry Mr. Joe Strummer, I know youre spinning in your grave. Us old timers out here that give a shit can only do so much.---
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD?
Can anything remain untouched?
Im sorry Mr. Joe Strummer, I know youre spinning in your grave. Us old timers out here that give a shit can only do so much.---
Monday, March 16, 2009
Just stuff...
---Spring looks as if it is beginning to show its face around here. It was 72 today and I did some yard work and noticed tiny little buds coming out of the ground. Its supposed to be 70 tomorrow and in the lower 60s the rest of the week.
Things here are pretty quiet otherwise. Scott, Im glad I got to share some pretty in depth stuff with you about me and my life and PJB, drop me a line, lemme know when its best to email you and when you'll have time to sit down and read it and I will fill you in just the same. I just cant make my problem public by pasting it up here, its pretty personal stuff and I wanted you two guys to know to help understand me better.
The ex closes on her house on Friday which is kinda exciting news for her and Ava.
I just started to understand FB and all it had to offer and then they went and re-formatted it. Nice goin Facebook peeps.
Ill talk to you soon---
Things here are pretty quiet otherwise. Scott, Im glad I got to share some pretty in depth stuff with you about me and my life and PJB, drop me a line, lemme know when its best to email you and when you'll have time to sit down and read it and I will fill you in just the same. I just cant make my problem public by pasting it up here, its pretty personal stuff and I wanted you two guys to know to help understand me better.
The ex closes on her house on Friday which is kinda exciting news for her and Ava.
I just started to understand FB and all it had to offer and then they went and re-formatted it. Nice goin Facebook peeps.
Ill talk to you soon---
Thursday, March 12, 2009
OK, this isnt gonna be easy for me
---but since I love you guys, I will fill you in as to why I am far from grown up, why I fuck up bad at times and why I look up to people like Mike Ness as my heroes. This DOES NOT go beyond this blog brothers and if anyone is reading this that is not worthy of being called an OMI brother, well, you can read, but you can also go to hell, this isnt on your dance card.
When I was young (between the ages of 5-9 and 10ish) I was severely sexually abused by my Father and his whore of a girlfriend at the time. I go to therapy for this at least once a week, sometimes twice. I just got back from a session this AM. None of you can relate to the pain and anger I deal with on a daily basis, dont say you can,please, because you cant and if you say you can, I will laugh at you. Life, for me, at times IS hell. I am in no way gonna get into details here nor am I gonna give my diagnosis here on a blog. If you are curious enough, or care enough to know, drop me an email and I will openly tell you, in all honesty what I have been suffering from since I was young and how it all makes sense now. I will openly share my diagnosis with you there, but not on here, cool guys?
Yesterday, I once again fell short and did things I shouldnt have. Its hard for me to explain how or why it happened without you 1st knowing what my diagnosis consists from. If you are reading this Jen, you know exactly what point Im trying to get across, cuz you know all of me nowadays.
The bottom line is this...I am severely mentally ill to the point where on some days I cannot function as a normal person in society. If you want to know more, email me @ my hotmail address or my Gmail address and I shall check both over the next few days to see if you guys show up there. From there, I will fill you in on who I have become over the years........I would love to think I will not be judged for it. If I am, it will be the last time we shall ever speak, its that simple, it means that much to me. I have to protect myself.
Do, or do not email me, its up to you. All will be told in private so you can understand me better. If you choose to not email me, I aint gonna hold it against you, but you will just have to go through life trying to figure out why Im so fucked up in the dark.
I love you guys-----
When I was young (between the ages of 5-9 and 10ish) I was severely sexually abused by my Father and his whore of a girlfriend at the time. I go to therapy for this at least once a week, sometimes twice. I just got back from a session this AM. None of you can relate to the pain and anger I deal with on a daily basis, dont say you can,please, because you cant and if you say you can, I will laugh at you. Life, for me, at times IS hell. I am in no way gonna get into details here nor am I gonna give my diagnosis here on a blog. If you are curious enough, or care enough to know, drop me an email and I will openly tell you, in all honesty what I have been suffering from since I was young and how it all makes sense now. I will openly share my diagnosis with you there, but not on here, cool guys?
Yesterday, I once again fell short and did things I shouldnt have. Its hard for me to explain how or why it happened without you 1st knowing what my diagnosis consists from. If you are reading this Jen, you know exactly what point Im trying to get across, cuz you know all of me nowadays.
The bottom line is this...I am severely mentally ill to the point where on some days I cannot function as a normal person in society. If you want to know more, email me @ my hotmail address or my Gmail address and I shall check both over the next few days to see if you guys show up there. From there, I will fill you in on who I have become over the years........I would love to think I will not be judged for it. If I am, it will be the last time we shall ever speak, its that simple, it means that much to me. I have to protect myself.
Do, or do not email me, its up to you. All will be told in private so you can understand me better. If you choose to not email me, I aint gonna hold it against you, but you will just have to go through life trying to figure out why Im so fucked up in the dark.
I love you guys-----
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Hi brothers, guess what? Im a fuck up.
I'm on the 714, cause I got a brand new jar,
Lemons put some light in my life, keep me happy through the night
I'm a lude boy, I don't care if I ever get home.
Getting ready to jump on the train, give me more to rack my brain.
Sudden alteration in my point of view, tables turn when I got the ludes.
I'm a lude boy, I don't care if I ever get home.
I'm on the 714, cause I got a brand new jar,
Lemons put some light in my life, keep me happy through the night
I'm a lude boy, I don't care if I ever get home.
Getting ready to jump on the train, give me more to rack my brain.
Sudden alteration in my point of view, tables turn when I got the ludes.
I'm a lude boy, I don't care if I ever get home.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Its Tuesday, right?
---So, hows life treating you guys? Mines alright right now, just struggling with trying to keep clean to be honest with you all. I dunno why, But I am. Im using Ava as a constant reminder of what needs to be done right so I dont fuck up. Some people in life base success off of bullshit objects like money, or the status quo, I myself base it off of staying clean because I dont wanna fail anymore.
Its day 4 of rain and gloom and doom here. Its not cold YET. This afternoon a cold front is gonna usher its way in and bring with it winds that could be ripping up to 50 MPH and the low tonight is zero! Yeah, spring aint here by a long shot yet. Fucking zero...damnit!!!!
I hope you guys are all doing well. We should try to keep in touch on Facebook too, just keep the personal shit off there, cuz Im pretty sure we all pop on there at least once a day and its super easy to click on a brothers name to just say "Hey, Im good, hows things?"
Im gonna go OD on coffee, Ill catch ya later---
Its day 4 of rain and gloom and doom here. Its not cold YET. This afternoon a cold front is gonna usher its way in and bring with it winds that could be ripping up to 50 MPH and the low tonight is zero! Yeah, spring aint here by a long shot yet. Fucking zero...damnit!!!!
I hope you guys are all doing well. We should try to keep in touch on Facebook too, just keep the personal shit off there, cuz Im pretty sure we all pop on there at least once a day and its super easy to click on a brothers name to just say "Hey, Im good, hows things?"
Im gonna go OD on coffee, Ill catch ya later---
Monday, March 09, 2009
Oh so true...
---"Life goes by so fast, you only wanna do what you think is right. Close your eyes and it's passed, story of my life"......---
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Friday, March 06, 2009
Shout out time.
---I wanna send a special BIRTHDAY shout out to Mr. Martin for his upcoming birthday tomorrow. I hope you get all the hook ups homeboy.
Love ya and miss ya man.---
Love ya and miss ya man.---
Nothing special
--- Dont forget we spring our clocks forward an hour this weekend kids! Eh, what the hell, no big deal, we only lose an hour of sleep, damn farmers!
Day two of nice weather is here for the day but it all goes to shit tomorrow with rain and much cooler temps. Of course, the day when you want it to be nice, its not.
The Facebook addiction is beginning to wear off. Besides you guys, Im only sticking close to a handful of people on there and following their daily lives and posts.
I have therapy this AM and Im not in the mood to go, I dont wanna talk about my problems this week. Shit, ya want problems lady? Ill give ya damn problems, hah.
Ava is good, just growing like a weed. The ex takes possession of her new house on the 20th and she has yet a lot of packing to do. Im gonna get pulled into it, but its gonna come with a price tag this time. Charity is over, heh, kiddin! Im really excited to have her move though, Ava is gonna love it and thats all that matters to me. Im glad she has a screened in front porch, there will be some late nights shootin the breeze out there. Its all gonna be good. Im excited for them. She just started yet another venture in her life (like she really needs that) which is making vintage inspired hats out of left over pieces of vintage clothes that were too damaged to sell and other vintage items like feathers, nets and so on...shes a purist, she would never destroy a piece of vintage clothing to turn it into something else so she has scraps and tons of them. Shes made 3 hats so far and they are outrageous and kick ass. www.sugarlids.com check it out.
The girl has serious talent.
have a good one boys, love yas---
Day two of nice weather is here for the day but it all goes to shit tomorrow with rain and much cooler temps. Of course, the day when you want it to be nice, its not.
The Facebook addiction is beginning to wear off. Besides you guys, Im only sticking close to a handful of people on there and following their daily lives and posts.
I have therapy this AM and Im not in the mood to go, I dont wanna talk about my problems this week. Shit, ya want problems lady? Ill give ya damn problems, hah.
Ava is good, just growing like a weed. The ex takes possession of her new house on the 20th and she has yet a lot of packing to do. Im gonna get pulled into it, but its gonna come with a price tag this time. Charity is over, heh, kiddin! Im really excited to have her move though, Ava is gonna love it and thats all that matters to me. Im glad she has a screened in front porch, there will be some late nights shootin the breeze out there. Its all gonna be good. Im excited for them. She just started yet another venture in her life (like she really needs that) which is making vintage inspired hats out of left over pieces of vintage clothes that were too damaged to sell and other vintage items like feathers, nets and so on...shes a purist, she would never destroy a piece of vintage clothing to turn it into something else so she has scraps and tons of them. Shes made 3 hats so far and they are outrageous and kick ass. www.sugarlids.com check it out.
The girl has serious talent.
have a good one boys, love yas---
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Spring forward
---So this weekend, we have to move our stupid clocks because of the stupid farmers up one hour, which means we lose an hours' sleep. It seems like it comes early this year doesnt it?
So, when do you guys think we will actually start to see Spring like temps. move into the region? Late this month or early April? Right now, its only 26 here, but its also only 835 in the AM. The high today is supposed to be 49.
Ive also noticed through certain friends from life (no, not you guys, I know you all too well) that while they are on FB they put their best foot forward and act as if married life ends with ice cream and puppy dogs and everything happily ever after which is a load of shit. NOTHING ever ends like that. I just found it interesting that people have to be perceived as winners, even on the damn interwebs.
Whew, Im fired up today, the World had best look out.
I love you guys though, Ive always found this blog a shelter from life's storms and I totally feel safe here being myself because I know I have been appreciated by you guys through the years. Thank you, really.---
So, when do you guys think we will actually start to see Spring like temps. move into the region? Late this month or early April? Right now, its only 26 here, but its also only 835 in the AM. The high today is supposed to be 49.
Ive also noticed through certain friends from life (no, not you guys, I know you all too well) that while they are on FB they put their best foot forward and act as if married life ends with ice cream and puppy dogs and everything happily ever after which is a load of shit. NOTHING ever ends like that. I just found it interesting that people have to be perceived as winners, even on the damn interwebs.
Whew, Im fired up today, the World had best look out.
I love you guys though, Ive always found this blog a shelter from life's storms and I totally feel safe here being myself because I know I have been appreciated by you guys through the years. Thank you, really.---
Monday, March 02, 2009
Insanity rant...
---Good gosh gentlemen, Facebook has me sooooooooo addicted. I have found so many lost friends from HS and Grammar school, its amazing. Im so happy to be in touch w/ them again. With some of them, weve picked up from where we left off.
PJB, remember a certain red head I dated and you lusted after? Her and I have been talking a lot and its so cool!
But the main reason this rant must have some sanity in it is because just the other day Scott said now that I had signed up for Facebook not to forget about this blog.
It WILL NOT happen, no way. I may have met some old friends on FB, but you guys are my brothers, so there is no shot in hell Ill walk away from this great place of ours, rest assured.
Cool? I care too much about you guys to do that.---
PJB, remember a certain red head I dated and you lusted after? Her and I have been talking a lot and its so cool!
But the main reason this rant must have some sanity in it is because just the other day Scott said now that I had signed up for Facebook not to forget about this blog.
It WILL NOT happen, no way. I may have met some old friends on FB, but you guys are my brothers, so there is no shot in hell Ill walk away from this great place of ours, rest assured.
Cool? I care too much about you guys to do that.---
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