Are we not men? We are DEVO!

Okay. I know. Don't say it. Schweis is never here. I get that.

<----- This is a photo from the recent update to my website (link in this post).

I just clicked through to PJ's Flicker Page. Peter, you've always been a handsome dog, but I have to say that seeing you with graying temples (mine are too) all that facial hair, kids, house, life and all its trappings has made me realize that I, for one, lack many of those things (gotta house and wife, but at 35 still can't grow a beard or mustache that won't get me carded!) and it has also made me realize that we are not men. We are nearing middle aged mother fuckers. We're the guys that us as kids bitched about being behind in line at the 7-eleven. We're the people that we hated waiting on in restaurants because they had nothing interesting to say to us, just bring me food so I can go sleep. Or even worse, when they did try to act hip and cool it was just embarrassing. Dude, your like an old married guy and shit! I'm young. I go to bars. I go to shows. I fuck random women when I want to (with the exception of JT that was more wishful thinking most of the time, but we COULD!).

Now, am I saying I feel old? Fuck no. Am I saying that we are old? Well, maybe we're getting there. But, I'd say that we can officially know that we're old in the eyes of what would now be an Offman from the days of yore.

I was recently drinking beers with my sister in law and her son (my nephew) and his girlfriend. He's 22 and she's 18. Just the prime comparison for our Offman selves. We start swapping stories about partying, random woman chasing, general drunken disorderly shit. And I realize that he's embarrassed by half my stories. Not because they aren't the coolest and best told stories of youthful glory ever. NO. They are (except compared to JT, who I've actually seen have women throw phone numbers at him randomly in malls). He was embarrassed because I'm supposed to be some kind of grown up and he's there with his itty bitty tiny little girlfriend (she's not tall or fat, but very sweet). I WAS THE EMBARRASSING OLD FART RELIVING HIS GLORY DAYS. I believe that means my glory days are over. But I don't feel that way. I feel good. Occassionally glorious.

So, this is my rant about the fact that if we look at our old photos from 15 years ago, and look at our photos now. Apparently, we have aged. I didn't notice, but its happened. And apparently those 7 year old kids that were such an annoyance have now grown up to be the hip new generation who they target all the advertising at (if you didn't know 35 is the final year for most demographic tracking to keep you in the youth market, and most surveys will stop at 34). And this hip new generation is judging us and saying how unhip we were in our youth with our parachute pants and Michael Jackson when he was still black records, or even our Wax Trax collections and new wave and post punk concerts. Hell, even remembering when Cabaret Metro was still a Caberet and not just Metro (tell me its still fucking there please) doesn't buy us points. That's just old nostalgia. It would be like some old hippy remembering Old Town when it reaked of patchouli and impersonated The Haight. Who fucking cared? That was so last rebellion.

Well, I'm still in rebellion, even if I would rather quote DEVO than... than... than some band that is now hip and edgy whom I'm not aware of because I'M TOO FUCKING OLD SCHOOL (and don't have friends who keep me posted any more. Big Black would kick the White Stipes asses any day. Foetus is a far edgier name than Yeah Yeah Yeahs (what the fuck are they?)

And allow me to close this out by noting that all the people I know under 30, and a few do work for me (God I'm really really getting old, aren't I?) all have Ipods that are loaded with more music that I have in my stale CD and Vinyl collection than they have of music produced in this millenium! They won't tell us, but we're still cool (in my own narrow mind). In a random access, peer to peer file sharing, hypertext, downloadable, searchable, indexable, indifatigably inexhaustably accessible world, they are still trying to recapture the glory of the generations that proceeded them. In essence the entire point of this rant, as ludicrous and trite (many people seem to have hit their mid 30s before me) and "heard it all before" as it is. The point is....

Drum Roll

GOD DAMN KIDS TODAY

Love you guys, and miss you too. And Pete, don't worry, it was just your stunning good looks which are improving with age and slight case of salt and pepper that got me thinking. I still think you don't look a day over 29!