Tuesday, September 12, 2006

For you guys lucky enough to be in a solid relationship right now, here was how tos way of keeping romance alive within your union......read on.


How to Maintain Romance
There is so much more involved in keeping romance alive than just candles, bubble baths, and foot massages. You each have to work at it in order to maintain and enjoy romance in your life. Here is how to feed the romantic fires in your relationship in a deep and meaningful way.
Steps
Tell the truth. Truth is the ultimate aphrodisiac and a great way to create connection with your partner. For example, you might say "I feel safe when I am with you" or "Sometimes I feel scared that we get so busy with other things that we forget about creating close moments together, but I really want to be close with you." Just share your true feelings and speak from your experience. If you are concealing in your relationship, you will not feel connected, so consider making truth an ongoing priority in your life.
Appreciate yourself and your partner. Appreciation means "to grow in value, or to be sensitively aware of." Take time to understand just what it is that you like about yourself, and your partner. Saying for example, "I am doing a good job as a parent by taking time to hug the kids in the morning before they go off to school." or "I really appreciate how dedicated you are to your job." Successful relationships have a 5 to 1 ratio of appreciations to criticisms, so if you really want to heat up your relationship, start appreciating!
Listen. All humans crave being seen and heard. Being with your partner, and really listening to them can be magical for you both. Often, we want to fix their problems, but it is much more powerful to listen. Saying, "Wow, I can understand you are frustrated." or "That must have been hard on you." lets your partner know you're hearing them.
Create romance within yourself first. We often try to "get" our partners to be more romantic,by believing we need to change them in order to have what we want. The truth is that you are much more likely to have what you want when 'you' show up in that way. For example, create your own romantic mood--dress, put on music, prepare sensuous foods, take some time to love and appreciate yourself. It will not take long for your partner to join in the fun!
Ask for what you want. Let your partner know that you are deeply interested in spending some romantic time with them (You would be surprised at how often they are unaware of this.) Whining, demanding, and manipulating are contrary to creating romance, so do your best to ask using kind and loving words.

4 comments:

Martin said...

"take some time to love and appreciate yourself."

I do that for a couple minutes, maybe once or twice a day. Usually with some Kleenex and an "art magazine" handy.

Handy; handie, hahaha. I crack myself up.

Run It...The Replacements

Sickboy said...

"art magazine" I love it! haha....

dad-e~O said...

giggle. Nice Martin.

I totally have this relationship thing mastered.
Not to blow my own horn (giggle)
but how often do you see marriages like mine work out for as long as ours has, we knew each other for like 6 months, had a week long engagment, and have married for over 12 years....
And she still puts out.

dad-e~O said...

not that I don't love "Art Magazines"