Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Ho Ho Ho!

Posted by Sickboy at 3:47 PM
---OK, how far along are you guys with your holiday shopping? As of tomorrow, I will be officially done! Ive kinda gone out of the way to spoil my mom with gifts this year. I know that "buying her out" isnt gonna bring Den back, nor is it gonna take away her pain, but if I can make her smile for for an extra min. or two on Christmas morning, Ill be happy.

This Christmas is gonna be terribly difficult to get through. But we shall survive.


So, hows the shoppin going on your end?---

3 comments:

dad-e~O said...

It will also be our first Christmas without my Mom, Last X-Mas was the last time the we saw her in any sort of condition to visit.
So I sorta know what your going through,
It's pretty lame. to say the least.

7:51 PM CST
Sickboy said...

yeah, I unfortunately figured youd relate to me in this way PJ. This is gonna be a tough one.

8:05 PM CST
Sickboy said...

yeah, it is messed up, but in a very peaceful way at times...for example, I can still hear my Dad call out my name sometimes and it takes me a few seconds to remember he not there. Ill catch a whiff of his cologne, suttle little things that make me feel special.

Like I may or may not have mentioned, my Dad was like a crazed kid on Christmas, he didnt care what he got, as long as he knew you cared enough to have something for him. Im gonna miss the HELL outta that this year.

I personally used holiday shopping as an escape this year to get away from the feelings. I guess thats a lot better than other forms of escapism Ive use in the past, no? Thank God.

But Im not in the holiday mood at all....Im praying for a nice white Christmas though just to seem to make it perfect.

Yeah, Christmas sucks this year. Fuck, I cannot believe yesterday was 1 month that we buried Den. A fucking month!!!!!!!! It still hurts like well and my therapist says it could hurt for a long time, there is no time limit of the phases of grieving---

4:43 PM CST

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