Colin needed a hair cut (his first) so this past weekend we packed up the mini van and trucked up to grandmas house in Minnesota. When we finally got back home after our 6 hour drive Sunday night, I had to pee like a race horse, However C who had been sitting in a poopy diaper for the last twenty minutes of our trip, was throwing a royal fit and so my pee would have to wait. If being strapped in to a miserable plastic rickshaw weren’t bad enough, a poopy diaper was defiantly more than his majesty could handle. Now obscenities were rolling of his little tong in his strange dialect at a frantic pace, which sounded something like (da da da da). What ever he was saying it certainly clear what he meant was take care of my needs now or I shall have your head! So as soon as the van stopped the doors flew open, and I unlashed C from his plastic rickshaw and ran him up stairs. The only thing to placate my master now was going to be pair of clean shorts, a fresh bottle, and a good night’s sleep in his comfy royal bed chamber, but time was of the essence I needed to hurry.
Once I had changed and pampered C with a fresh bottle, I figured I would finally relieve my self before completing the final task of gently rocking my master to sleep. So I carried him into the bath room and closed the door (to prevent his escape in to the land of stairs and extension cords). I set him on his but in front of the bath tub one of his favorite locations, for unknown reasons he finds the bath tub hilarious. Now I can take my pee, Ahhhhh finally I closed my eyes and enjoyed this major draining of my main veining. After a sort time of this and after my initial ahhh was starting to ware off, I opened my eyes and looked down to be sure of my aim. However my eyes were quickly distracted by two little hands below me resting on the toilet bowl. Immediately I think to my self “OH Crap”, and quickly attempted to pinch my knees together to stop my master from having a taste test of our toilet bowl. No avail he squirmed his way in and I had to avert to plan B.
Plan B trying to stop the stream… a major 6 hour car ride stream I might add, it didn’t work and I ended up dribbling on my masters head, He giggled and I admitted defeat and resumed peeing. Colin then commenced to taste test the rim, but that was not going to be enough fun and so he next proceeded to reach in to the bowl where he could splash around in the pretty yellow water. All I could do was watch in horror for the next few moments while I worked to hard pull my stream to a full stop as he continued his adventure, and I continued to dribble more pee on his head.
During his preceding bath he again spoke in his strange royal dialect stating, “Yarg the sea she’s a wicked temptress none of ya lubbers would know any thin about dat” which again sounded more like (da da da da). But I knew what he was saying, and so then he went to bed and our journey was finally over.
2 comments:
Scott, I would have sworn that after my own 2 kids, and the story's handed down from my own parents, not to mention mutiple friends with kids, That I would have heard it all.
That was pricless. a great laugh out loud story, thanks, just what I neeeded on my way to work
This was an A+ story. I laughed and laughed, it was a prefect fit for my day. Great one Scott.
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