Sundays Suck.

The Flu and My Daughter.

So today my daughter falls ill with the full on flu, the respitory kind that can be really dangerous to little wee ones. She was laying on the floor in her blankie, crying about how her little perfect back hurt her and how she was dizzy. At one point she had a fever of 102.3 and was a bit delerious talking about spiders on her blanket.

It made me thankful.

Thankful that she is in my little life. Thankful that she is so tough and amazingly gorgeous. Thankful that she adores me as her Father and loves me unconditionally.

I just love her so much. I would die for her in a second.

Shes amazing.

I had to laugh

Ok, even though Iraq is filled with death and chaos and now I guess the Country is on the brink of civil war, I came across this phrase while reading today's headlines...

"Holy Shiite Tomb Attacked"

Now doesnt that just look like a bad typo?

Sorry, my humor is morbid and dark but I had to giggle.

We all should know that is in reference to a certain Islamic party:Shiite.

C'mon, laugh, you know you wanna.

Great, now this website will probably be protested by some group. Start burning the flags now....

Did you say Mini Van!

Regrettably last night evil googly-eyed space aliens cajoled OFFMEN Scott into purchasing a much-maligned mini-van. Quoted here by an obviously delusional Scott; “I can’t believe how much I really wanted to make this purchase.” The ET bastards in question seem to have gone way beyond there usual peeping around the corner to scare the living daylights out of us routine. In fact our records show that a much younger Scott had at one time made a contract with unknown parties to have him self shot before such a purchase ever occurred…Obviously this unknown person of interest has fled the country (we suspect this might have to do with recently uncovered photos of OFFMEN in their undies found in Scott’s archive). This commentator believes this to be an outrage of a most pernicious caliper. Just look at the image supplied above, can you actually fathom this young punker wana-be buying a conservative family vehicle… We can only hope that he will put some nifty punk rock stickers on the back, and sooooon!

Original "OFFMEN" phone list

Some of the numbers on this nearly 2-decade-old piece of paper are still in fact valid, so I blurred them out… I think I might have another phone list or two in the archive. It might be interesting to see just how many of us there were?

Scott

Google-ized Roll Call

So as far as I can tell it works a little like this.
you put in a name (mabye even your own) and press enter,
a few moments later a list of places your handle has been published comes up.
So my proposal is this:
Let's start an OFFMEN roll call, that way when someone enters their own name into the old google (who hasn't done it at least once) the blog will come up and they are more likely to find their way here. and if not it's fun to see how good your memory is. since I spent most of my time in Florida I'll start with the easy names. don't forget A.K.A's it'll make it more challenging and fun,
in no particular order:

Eric Enders, AKA: Tippy, Eric Kvitek
Bob Lonski, AKA: Ski, Robert James Lonski, woolie-Jack
Scott Cain, AKA: uhhh, Scooter?(did you have a nick name?)
Frank Bongiovani, AKA: Mongo,
Mike Thumm, AKA: Big Mike, Thumie, Lady Killer
John Miller, AKA: John T.

Peter Barson, AKA: Pete, pj, Peter Jeremy

that's all I got for now.

we are here, we are here

Hello kiddies, after much help from Eric I have found my way to the posting section. weee

First question: were is the crest, or coat of arms? this should be prominantly dispalyed somewhere here IMO. somone with more techno smarts then me could probably manage that quite nicely (hint, hint Scott)

Second question: are one of you gents periodicly "googling" the other OFFMEN names in order to get to the bottom of some where are they nows?

next a statement on world affairs: Is there anyone besides our president and a bunch of offshore banking fatcats that think our ports coming under forign control is a good idea? People who love America and have somthing to lose if we are attacted are having enough trouble keeping things secure (less then 5% of containors are searched) what happens when we get some flunky from god knows where pretending to give a shit keeping on eye on things.

and just for fun: My new passion is cycling. There is a term on cycling webforums called bike porn, not naked people on bikes (although that is available if you look) but well taken pictures of great bikes. The Bicycling Magazine buyers guide was just released and I think I need some alone time.

Our Namesake

PJ brought up a point to me last night that I am hoping Scott can also chime in on and help us out with. I do vaguely remember some controversey around our name when we first came together as a "boys night out club". If I remember right, we were first called the U-Men, aptly named after a Front 242 song and we found out through someone else that that certain tag had gang affiliations around it so we all voted and decided to change our name to what it is now: "The Offmen".

Is this right? PJ, Scott, help me out here.....

Smoke Em if Ya Got Em!

Earlier today while we were chatting, Scott reminded me of one of the more innocent, yet terribly annoying schemes we had pulled on another fellow Offmen. We were sitting in the infamous Offmen Chevy Monza that was owned by Mike S. at the time. Now this car in itself was a piece of Offmen history considering it started with Scott and was also eventually owned by 2 other Offmen before it met it’s downfall. It was silver, it was old and it was cool: it was the Monza.

So here we were in the Monza. Like I said at this time it was under the control of proprietor number 2, Mike S. Make had made a short stop at his Parent’ s house and Scott and I decided to wait in the car for him.

For some odd reason, Scott and I came up with the idea of seeing how many cigarettes it would take to completely fill the Monza with smoke. Keep in mind that this had to be done in a very short time also. So Scott and I lit up and started puffing away like to made stoners on some kind of weed bender. I think we managed to get 4 or 5 cigarettes between the both of us smoked down before Mike came back out to the car. By time he did we had the thing smoked up to a nice Rastafarian’s level of haze.

I can’t quite remember if Mike was pissed off or not for the frolics we pulled, but nonethe less, we had his car in a smoked up haze beyond belief. It was one of those “You had to be there” kind of memories to get the full effect, but as soon as Scott mentioned it to me, I remembered it right away.

The one thing I can remember is the look on Mike’s face as he opened the door to his car and the smoke just poured out of the door. Gosh, we were silly sometimes.

Thanks for the memory Scott. I will leave the picture with you looking cool as can be in it for your explaining, hah.

Lousy repeating nightmares!

It happened again last night, I keep having this reoccurring nightmare. The setting fluctuates however the scenario is always the same. It is the night before final exams, I am in collage, although the building that all of my classes are in is in fact my old high school (an inhuman nightmare in it's self). I am having a panic attach because I have just realized that even though I have done exceptional in most of my classes there are two classes I simply have not made the time to go to since the beginning of the semester. I am panicking because not only do I know that I have a semester of missed assignments, but I have no clues as to what the final exam will be on, and if I did not have time for them why the hell did I not drop these classes? The classes are also usually the same Art History, and Sociology, which only adds to the confusing realism of these annoying dreams. Also I will admit that some times I am in fact without pants or only in my underwear, but I am usually able to push past this detail and focus on the greater task at hand, that being those missed classes. Some times I will walk right into the class and try and bluff my way through these final exam in nothing more than my under pants. Often this is when I wake up feeling very rattled, and annoyed that it happened again.

Scott

Good Eats!

Went to TGI Fridays tonight for dinner with a pain in the ass friend, but I had the Jack Daniels Flat Iron Steak and it was delicious. I highly recommend it to anyone who is a red meat lover like I am.

This country is run by morons and I dont even really mean The Preisdent: the stupidity goes way beyond Him.

See ya....

Sunday Sunday Sunday....

Old man winter let loose his grip today...to a point. At least it made it into double digits. I am really thankful for the internet today. I was sitting here looking at my list of friends that I have to chat with on Yahoo and I realized that all of them are friends that I had back in the day. If it wasnt for the internet who knows if I would still be in touch with them, let alone being blessed enough to chat with them any time and at will, for free.

I guess the internet isnt all about porn and spam emails from hell. It is pretty sad and disgusting that the biggest selling item online is online porn itself. I mean, sure, I have at times, looked at online porn but after really thinking about it, it is all pretty nasty and Im sure it has destroyed many families. I dont think porn should be "banned", but at times I think it goes too far online. But all in all, how do you police the internet and be totally effective anyways? Is that even possible?

over and out.

Denny's continued (because there is so much to say)

I was unable to find a photo of Jason (Rolling Meadows Denny’s waiter). How ever I did locate another one of our favorite Denny’s staff members (Wood field Denny’s) and Offmen Patrick. Upon finding this image I thought wow, how did they put up with us, And with such professionalism. It has been more years than I can count since I have been in one of those delightful green roofed diners. How ever every time I pass a Denny’s restaurant I find that I still have a strong a desire to stop in and drink copious amounts of black coffee, smoke multiple packs of cigarettes and walk out feeling like I had just spent and evening with some expensive shrink. Thanks for your comment “J” they were good times indeed. I wonder if Pat’s molars hurt in this photo?

Scott

Old man winter has set in. At 5 PM it was minus 21 and falling. I hate winter. It doesnt allow me to get out to walk, bike ride or much of anything else. Today wasnt a bad day. Scott and I got the blog lined up a bit more and in a much better way. I became generally concerened for my Mother today because she has been friggin' obsessed with dead relatives lately, especially her Dad, my Papa.

It is all odd.

Anyways, tried the Goose Island Root Beer today and I was really let down: it just wasnt very good.

Offmen Blog On The Up And Up!!!!

Scott and I have finally come together to better organize the blog site here, so if you stumble across this and you are a fellow offmen please leave us a message here to let us know you stopped by and then we will be able to hook you up with some blogger benefits.

Thanks.

Eric

Offmen Pool Parties...

They were wet and huge: they were Frank’s pool parties. I can remember a few details from Frank’s pool parties…lots and lots of beer and food, mostly your obvious stuff like hot dogs and burgers. I can also remember being forced to play Frank’s favorite pool game: Impression Diving, where you had to act like someone or something else as you were diving into the pool and the people in the pool had to guess what or who you were.

Frank’s pool parties were pretty big. I would say an average one consisted of at least 10 to 12 people. His pool was pretty kick ass too and his parents were really cool about the whole thing too, they never seemed to mind the people running about.

I have one vivid pool memory that sticks out in my mind also. I was sitting out front of Frank’s house for some odd reason: I think I was waiting for someone to drive by and I innocently took a seat on the back of Frank’s Dads Early 80s Mercedes Benz. So there I was, sitting on the trunk of the car putting my shoes on when I hear a car come speeding up on me out of nowhere. I looked up and it was Frank’s Brother, Larry! He jumped out of his car and got right up in my face and yelled at me for sitting on the car. Needless to say if you knew Larry, you knew he was NOT to be crossed or pissed off! Well, I quickly hopped off the car and went strolling around the side of the house until he left again. Thankfully, though, a few weeks later when Larry was actually introduced to me by  Frank, he apologized for the incident.

Hey Scott, got any pool party memories to share???

E.

Denny's and The Offmen

Denny’s was our kitchen away from our homes. It was our conference center. It was our hang out for late night antics. Denny’s was just one of those places we could always turn to for a cup of coffee and if I remember right, their coffee was dangerously addictive. It was also a warm shelter in the winter or a place to meet up for our Sunday night weekly meetings. Now that I look back, its funny to think about what a huge staple Denny’s was in our lives. I can remember nights when we would have a table of 15 of us set up in the middle of the dining room. I can also remember being thrown out of a few Denny’s on more than one occasion too: we were either too loud or never ordered enough to keep a decent bill running.

I salute you Denny’s, for being our kitchen away from home! Denny's doesnt exist where I am now, but whenever I see a "fast food sit down" restaurant I alwasy think of Denny's and what it meant to us.

Lil Bondo Memory....

I was recently reminded of a somewhat related Offmen incident. Myself, Scott and J were riding around in J’s car, I cannot remember exactly where we were going and we got pulled over.  One of the cops snuck around behind the car and managed to catch Scott trying to stuff a beer or two into his coat. The cop nailed him with a flashlight and quickly had all of us out of the car to be looked over and if I remember right, the beer was dumped.

Just one of the little things I was reminded about being an Offmen: Sometimes, we got caught.

Fear of Food!!!

Today, I start something new in life, something I have never done before and I am nervous.

I am going on a diet.

One of the medications I am on has caused me to gain an amount of weight I am not happy with because it is not healthy and it makes me look stupid. I look like a young faced 25 year old (even though Im 32) with a beer gut. Ive noticed it has made climbling stairs harder and it has made certain clothes all but impossible to get into. It makes me sad and I don’t need sad in my life.

I will keep you updated as to how it all goes. I am just gonna try to cut back on food altogether. I don’t wanna do the no carb thing and I don’t wanna do some other strange diet where I only eat tomatoes or grape fruit 4 times a day. I just need to use my head and watch what I stuff into my face.

Ill keep you posted….

Olympics

I just wanted to say that I am watching The Olympics and I am blown away by some of our athletes there. It is truly amazing watching them do what they do best. If I had a fraction of that talent Id be thankful.

That’s all….over and out….

E.

Bob's Initiation

At the time I never thought Bob was all that studly, however in reviewing these photo’s, I think I am seeing him in a whole new light. The triptych of photo’s are as follow; Bob before his second initiation seen here stepping out of his apartment (looking very calm), then a blurry image of Phil, Scott, Eric committing the act… And finally image three before the offensive material dripped down his but. Note to self, mystery concoction slathered on half naked friend not such a great idea. Eric I recognize your black and white Nikes along with your wispy frame, behind Phil and I.

Scott

Parents , Some of, Who Suck....

I know Ive written about this kind of thing before, but it just goes to show how if you watch for it, you can see it everydamnday. This evening I went to see the movie Final Destination 3 ( which I give 2 stars out of 5). Now if you’ve seen the preview you can  guess that this movie will have it’s parts of gore and seat curling scenes. Well, the movie did just that, I could think of 5 scenes that were children inappropriate just off the top of my head.

So we are there in the theater and I notice some family brings their 3 kids with, the oldest was maybe 7. But wait, like I said, in this movie, there we scenes of people getting their heads crushed, shot in the back of the head w/ a nail gun and one scene where 2 teens get burned to death in a pretty graphic way. All the scenes that involved death were graphic.  

It got better though. At the end of the showing I got up and turned around to see a small child who was  maybe 5 or 6 curled up in his Father’s arms crying in utter terror.

What the fuck is wrong with these people?

I mean really. What the fuck is wrong?

I looked this deadbeat family right in the eyes and just shook my head.

If you wanted quality family time out, go to fucking Baker’s Square and get dinner. Don’t drag some innocent to see some gory ass psychological mind fuck movie that does nothing but revolve around cheating death.

You just don’t do that if you’re a decent person, let alone a parent.

You just don’t.

What the fuck is a matter with this Country? When did it all go to shit?

I better stop before I end up sounding like a Republican or something. Im not here to push my personal views on others, but damnit, I have a  keyboard and Im gonna use it for more than just online checkers.

Something is wrong in such a wrong way here.

God Bless America. That’s the thing: I am really beginning to think that this shit only goes on here too! Am I wrong or off to really feel that way? What if Im right? Whos gonna change it? Obviously not most parents. I wouldn’t have let Ava in that Theater to see that movie if she would have been 13, let alone 6 or 7!

Christ, something is bad wrong and something needs to be done.

When did it happen?  This Nation is so self absorbed yet we open our eyes and ears to a world that doesn’t give two shits about us. You know what I mean.  There are probably other Countries out there where movies like that are banned, let alone rated a mere R, so no one under 17 can see it without an “adult” present.  Im not saying we should ban movies like that but damn, can we ban some people from being parents.

Ill start the damn petition to get the ball rolling.

A note form the hart, We will miss you Grandma

I have been blessed with an exceptional extended family. My wife’s family has fit into my life like a glove and P’s grandmother was no exception. M always amazed me; for this matriarch with a large and vibrant family to attend to she always impressed me not only by her warmth but also her exceptional ability to draw you in close to her in such a personal manor. She always made a point to make me feel more than just welcome in her home. From the very first time I met her I was made to feel like family. I can in fact still clearly recall my very first introduction to her. During this first conversation there were the usual formalities of hello and who are you however not far into this initial exploration of each other M informed me in a very clear and strait forward manor that her family frowned upon divorce. I was quite taken back by this seemingly out of know where comment, however equally as surprising I did not feel even slightly threatened by her comment. P and I had only been dating for around six months at that time, and this was my first time on the other side of the lake. That was nearly nine years ago in retrospect of that day I think that if any one other than M had confronted me in such an unusual manor during an introduction, I would most assuredly have not had a favorable impression of them. However as many of us know and remember her she was a truly unique individual and, I of course found her enchanting. I do my best to count my blessings often and I always find that she is one of them. As one of many I will miss her as well.

Scott

In reference to comments proceeding Eric's Initiations post

What kind of sick neurotic weirdo am I, would you believe I have a photo of the offending gallon jug of Louisiana Hot Sauce. For those of you who are out of the loop this photo was taken in 1992. And now may I present the to you from the one time home of OFFMEN Frank and Scott our fridge scene here full of food! Yes it is true any of you OFFMEN better think twice about running for political office! There seems to be a large amount of images in my archive…you know who you are.

Scott

Little Nothings.....

Sitting here I am enamored by feelings, none of which makes sense. You ever sit and stare off into space and just wonder about everything. You sit and wonder why you’re here, who put you here and what you are supposed to do.

You think about just how little your world is and how minute you are on a universal level. Sometimes it gets freaky even. You just speculate….contemplate…..

I never did that all too much when I was younger, but now I find myself doing it all the time.

Everyday.

E.

Initiations Offmen Style!

Maybe Scott can chime in on this and help me out here. I can remember a few of the Offmen initiations, or as others would put it “hazings”. I remember Frank had to hit on some leggy girl that was like 400 feet tall at the Improv in his “Mongo” like way and we did the same thing to Bob, having him hit on a Denny’s waitress even though his had a different effect. I remember bits and pieces of John Klika’s hazing, which included him walking up and down Dundee Road like some maniacal street preacher. I also remember a small portion of Patrick’s: like Scott told me, we had to drag him kicking and screaming.

Actually setting aside the Founding Father’s of the Offmen themselves, everyone went through an initiation except for myself and P.J. Everyone fell victim to our unusual and cruel punishments.

It was pretty funny stuff.

E.

More on that OFFMEN sound track mentioned earlier

Music was one of those things that unified the OFFMEN however it was rarely used as a selling point. In retrospect I recall that when discussing the different aspects of our group philosophy to others much of the conversation usually centered on topics such as friendship, brother hood, and occasionally that socially capricious one called male bonding. Ironically music, even though not on our sales menu; was quite possibly the single most unifying force amongst us. Again it might be my own clouded memory but as I recall none of us were in to the usual male pastimes such as; Cars, Sports, Cruising for fights, Heavy Metal Music, or just acting Macho and Stupid. We were simply very much into music, and for us that meant bands like then ones mentioned in Eric’s post earlier this week. Many of us found friendship in the teen dance clubs that sprinkled the Chicago land area, and thus was the basis of our musical interest. As luck would have it we lived in the Mecca for industrial dance. Chicago area bands like Ministry and the Thrill Kill Cult were cranking out a very edgy alternative to the usual disco fare, and we just ate it up. We were by some standards Music snobs…. It was great!

Chuck E. Cheese

Took the kid to Chuck E. Cheese's yesterday. It was fun and I observed a lot of white trash there which made for a even more interesting afternoon. Its funny how close the line can be drawn between someone repectable and someone who is trash by the way they present themselves and by the amount of pride they take in themselves...from they way the dress all the way down to bad prison tattoos. Such a shame.

Whatever, Im rambling, enjoy the pic....

Angel's Wings

You know, it is really interesting to me how in this Country you need a license to drive, hunt or fish but you don’t need anything to bring a child into this world.

To bring to light an old Improv quote “What the fuck, Jack?”

Really though, some people should not bring children into the world. Its simple. Its cut and dry. Some people should not bring children into this world.

OK, Im done now. Have a nice night.

Have Time, would travel....

Sitting here I wish time travel was possible, or at least if it is possible, it was more common. If I could go back in time 15 simple years I would do things so much differently given the same situations. I would have cared more for others, hugged more often and told friends past that I loved them more often.

I was trying to find an old classmate through one of those high school finder sites and I had no luck and it made me realize how I took so many situations for granted. I would just do things in a different way.  I would learn to slow things down, listen more and most of all, love more.

I was talking with someone the other day and they said the most important thing of all is happiness. I told them I disagreed and that love was the most important thing of all because without love you have nothing anyways.

What do you think is most significant?

the Music That Was Our Lives...

The Soundtrack that is our lives.

A lot of people in life claim that they could easily put together a song list to go along with certain parts of their lives. Well, here is my shot at a partial Offmen Soundtrack:

Front 242-Headhunter…Goes without saying, this song was a staple for us for many reasons and many occasions.

Big Black-Texas…I will always remember hearing Frank sing this at the top of this lungs and it served no other purpose than it was a great scream fest.

Nine Inch Nails-Down In It…I picked this because Scott used to bump the remix of this song in his car all the time and everytime I hear it now that is all I can think of.

Naked Raygun-Wonderbeer…Again, Frank: enough said.

Lords of Acid-I sit on Acid…Bring back countless memories of Medusas

Peter Murphy-Cuts you up. Was introduced to Mr. Murphy by Mr. Thumb and have loved him ever since.

Anything by The Vandals…Reminds me of Scott and him introducing them to me.

Depeche Mode-Personal Jesus…Even before the Offmen, there was Mcgreevy’s and this reminds me of that time in life.

Pailhead-I will Refuse…Reminds me of the huge pits on the 1st floor at Medusas

Mirror in the Bathroom_The English Beat…The Offmen went through what was probably a month or two phase where all we listened to was Ska.

The Revolting Cocks-38…I picked this because there was a time when more than one of us were fascinated with finding out the meaning of this song and I don’t think we ever did.

Ministry-Theives or Stigmata…Classic old school songs with classic old school memories.

Nitzer Ebb-Murderous…Reminded me of Mcgreevy’s.

The Cure-Boys Don’t Cry….Reminds me of a certain Offmen summer when the girls were a plenty and the worries were a million miles away.

Ok, Scott, your turn, any to add to this and why?

E.