---Brothers. Hello. Man, I am NOT liking life right now. I am in total love with a woman I cant have, Im in debt up to my damn elbows and my hair is thinning. I haven't seen some of you guys in well over 5 years now and all I wanna do is be bad and do things I shouldnt do. I am also severely mentally ill.
Its time to put on my Super Hero Cape and fly with the rest of the gang and be a good boy for all the right reasons.
My daughter.
Thats the only real reason I can find and if thats all I need then so be it, you know?
The ice is getting thin all around me and I dont wanna fall through. I dont wanna deal with those consequences, Im stronger than this. Im stronger than that. I am what I am because of what Ive gone through. Im old school, on top of the hill. Ive paid my damn dues and I dont wanna pay no more.
Will ONE of you guys get back to me and tell me its gonna be OK in the end?
This is a part of me I hide from the World, because the world doesnt like people like me when we are like this. If I cant confide in you guys, well then shit,theres no point in being a part of the brotherhood anymore either.
You and me, were like 2 and 3. We just fit. Im so jealous that a bunch of you are gonna be able to see Mike in a few weeks its not even funny. Im really happy for you guys, but oh so jealous! Over the past few days my email inbox has filled up with all kinds of OMI mail all pertaining to Mike's visit to Chicago and my head is so mixed up over it...not just over THAT though....Mike's Chicago visit hasnt triggered these feelings, Im just using it as an example we can all relate to. You guys are lucky and I hope you all feel that way!
My head is spinning so fast right now I forgot what my point was gonna be besides the fact that Im really happy for you guys but it sucks at the same time. Ive put a lot of blood,sweat and tears into this little blog and Im SO HAPPY you guys can come here everyday to enjoy it. It gives me something to look forward to. Weve had some great discussions and even greater arguments here on the blog, but we all always come back home to one another as brothers. Thats what makes me happy the most also.
Today, I was placed on one of the most SERIOUS Anti-Psychotic medications one can be put on. It will take weeks before it starts to work, but I must warn you, the side effects are also a bite in the ass, so please, just work with me if I seem to be having a "bad day". My treatment hit a wall today so Ive been bounced off that wall and my dr. and I are gonna go in a diff. direction, thats all.
I can say with the most certainty that if I didnt have a daughter right now who was smart, beautiful and all encompassing to me, I wouldnt be here.
I love you guys too those. Even those of you who are punk ass Liberals, hehe....
Monday, January 28, 2008
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5 comments:
Hey what about us independents?
Hey E, Your blogging as late has been really great! It is really nice to see who you are and where your are coming from, as apposed to a simple opinion. Your posts for these past few weeks have made me proud to call you brother.
life, is not about the destination, but about the journey.
sometimes the road is a little [or a lot]shitty. but it can only improve, focus on the short-term prize [being strong forava] & strugle to get there. you'll make it
Independents are OK my friend, I am finding that I am leaning more that way as all this political bullshit continues around us.
Thank you Scott for the compliment, that means a lot to me and I shall do my best to keep them coming then, if only for you. I actually have fun writing about all my daily happenings and what not, it makes me feel more in touch with myself and with you too.
PJB, thank you. I know life is, if anything, about the trip we are on.Sometimes its just hard for me to see an end point to it all, but I shall try.
Oh and by the way fellas, I think this blog has diminished to just us three, but aint gonna quit posting!
this election has me all messed up Scott. I dunno where my heart is. Obama really seems to be the one who wants change, but I like Romney because of his fiscal back groundand his stance on illegals entering the country.
That damn speech Obama gave on this past Sat. night though...DAMN, that man is one charismatic individual and I dont hate him, hes the first Democrat I havent hated in a long time. I LOVE listening to him talk to crowds...hes either and AMAZING bullshitter or he does want change and unification within the US. He keeps talking about bringing the 2 parties together so they can work as a "team". Shit, if he can do that alone, that would make him amazing.
Fuck Hillary though, that broad needs to go the fuck away for good! Go back to NY and shut the hell up.
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